I'm going to... I'm going to... RANT! ...I guess. Only if I can remember what I was supposed to rant about. A rant that is related to "JClub & School Rant" title that I used for this post. (-_________________-)"
So... first of all... School? Yea... Okay, so first semester is finish. Finish! And now I'm currently on vacation. Off school for one month and an extra week because my last exam was on the first week of exam week and exam week lasted for 2 weeks. I used lots of repetition there? Okay, that's beside the point. Besides, you get my point, don't you? Lol, you must! The first semester was... okay, I think. In terms of academics, I know I should've done better. I should have. I was just being lazy and lazy and yet my grades are pretty much okay. Not excellent, but okay nonetheless. I hope that that won't be a motivation for me to be even more lazy in the next semester. I'm hopeless.
Second of all...? JClub? You wanna know? Wwwhhhhyyy? Okay... This semester club activities weren't much. Really. Just a few meetings. 2, to be exact. Or more, but I just can't remember or I had a class...?? Oh well... The time when I can attend from the beginning of the meeting, the meeting just had to be cancelled.
The first time I came for the Anime & Manga Discussion meeting was... Well, I came an hour late because I had a class and I couldn't skip. Or that I don't have the courage to skip it. Anyway, I came an hour later and discussion was over and they started showing some anime videos. I sat in the back, close to the door and a little away from people. The vice-president put on Shingeki no Kyujin episode one on the screen. It was bloody!! Really~ But then it was the kind that most would love to watch. The sole reason I didn't watch was that because it was so popular that I lost my appetite to watch it. Oh, the other reason was that I was lazy even to watch anime. Hahaha but when I watched the first episode, I thought to myself that I will this series a chance and watch it, but until now, I haven't even browse it on the internet. Hahaha even my close friends are watching it. Even my shoujo manga-loving friend watched Shingeki no Kyujin! That's just how likable it is~!
Anyway, back to the meeting topic... I sat at the back. The vice-president gave me the sheet to sign that I was present. I signed it and just left it on the desk. I mean, no one asked for it and no one came after I came and besides, I'm going to return it back when I leave. That way, I won't have to interact with others, right? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gosh, did I just sounded like I didn't want to interact with others? Of course I would love to interact with fellow anime and manga fans and have a lively discussion. That would be great, but the chance of that happening is slim. Me, being such an antisocial and to add more to the fire, I came late. The president somehow noticed me. I was watching Shingeki no Kyujin and at the same time, I played around with my phone. I mean, I can do both at the same time, right? Well... he noticed that and thought that I didn't like watching Shingeki no Kyujin and was not enjoying my time. I enjoyed watching Shingeki no Kyujin, but I wasn't completely enjoying my time. Not completely enjoying my time also means that I did enjoy, but just not completely. XD I might not show that I enjoyed it. Anyway... One thing that I don't like is... him noticing me. I got too self-conscious. He cared that I was alone and that made me think of pointless stuff and get me overly self-centered, self-conscious. ...but that's a good thing for a president to do. To care for the fellow members of the club....... .... .... .... ... .... .... ... ... .... .... ...but I just can't handle it. He can be nice to everyone. Everyone... Everyone, except me. Except me. That way... I'll be okay.
The discussion meeting ended me waiting for my mom to pick me up. The other club activities was... There was an event. Someone who worked in the local children television channel had a workshop and the club's organizing committee is to be responsible of the activities and organizing of the event. And I'm a member of the committee... There was 2 meetings regarding the event. The time was too little. The meetings were held during the week before the event. During the meetings, the committee members shared their ideas, but I was just there sitting quietly. Gosh, I was so useless. The president was in the organizing committee. No, I didn't choose this committee because I know he's in it. In fact, I had no idea at all. Anyway, ideas of booths and activities were shared and I shared nothing. The president had a class to attend to in the middle of the meeting so he left. When he came back, he joined in the conversation. At one point, he asked the secretary (or whatever is his title) if I have shared an idea and the secretary said no. Indeed, I shared nothing. The president told me that he will be making me work a lot on the event's day. I was like, "Okay." Of course. I contributed nothing, so that's the least I deserve. Also, at a point, somehow, the secretary and the president stared at me and that startled me. I was like, "What?" and they backed off. Hahaha I really have no idea what were they thinking. XD
On the event day, I came early. Not so early, but just early. Not many were on the location yet, and so I had lots of time to spare and do nothing. I was expecting to be slaved and do tons of work. I would be fine with it though. Not the slaving part, of course, just the doing tons of work. Really, I would be fine. Then, the president came... but he didn't make me do lots of work! T-T I wanted to do something to pay for not being useful in the meetings. Sure, I put 2 pencils on each table, helped with posting up art entries, sitting in the art gallery and attend to it, helped a student in carrying back her art piece to her car... but that's just not enough.
Not enough work aside, while attending to the art gallery, someone I knew came. Someone who is related to someone who I didn't feel like to see. She had photos to be displayed on the art gallery and because I was the staff assigned, I had to help her. Don't get me wrong, I'm neutral with her. Totally. I just get nervous around her younger sister. I didn't know that she was in the same university. If I knew... Well, even if I knew, I would still attend to this university. I noticed her younger sister in the event. I noticed her when she came in. I couldn't believe what I saw. I get nervous around her... well... what was the reason again? I admire her and like her (as a friend) because she's such an admirable girl? Yea, I guess so. I admired her and liked her so much (as a friend) and yet... I don't know what to say. ...and yet, I was just a normal person, nothing special, nothing significant, to her. I just can't deal with this. I decided long ago (one or two years ago) to forget about her and just think of her normally, like how I think of others or stuff like that, but the resolution wasn't strong and it crumbled when I noticed her from afar. When her older sister came to submit her photos, her sister said that she is here. I only replied with yes. Of course, I saw her. I saw her... My eye caught her. Surprisingly, when she came, my anxiety didn't last long. I was a little nervous at first when she talked to me, but then it was okay. We ate lunch (more like afternoon snack) together. We didn't talk much. She asked about how is university's life, do I still get in touch with the others, what animes have I been watching lately... Yea, I guess that's all. I had a strawberry cake and it was utterly delicious. I kept on getting more and more. I couldn't help it! It was so yummy~!!
Her aside, after I was released from my station, I just sat alone at the last row. The president came over a few times and asked me how was the event and was I enjoying my time... That was a bad move, sir. Bad move. You shouldn't have done that. Not that your intentions were bad. They were good, but just don't give that to me. I don't deserve it and where was the promise of making me do lots of work? Really... After the event ended, the night after or sometime after, he sent an email to all of the committee members and thanked all of us. He mentioned names, but I wished that he didn't mention me. It's not that I don't want others to know that I exist, but I don't want him caring for me. There were times that I felt like telling him to not care about me and not to mention my name or anything, but that would be utterly stupid, wouldn't it? Certainly. Seems like I've got a crush on him, but such thing will disappear in no time and so I won't heed it any attention. I better not.
Yosha!! That's quite a babble~!! :3 I guess that's all. Ciao!
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