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| A dream I had |
I like doing things at my own pace. My pace is nothing grand. Not much to be proud of. Like studies and school work. I always laze around and finish it in the last minute. Or when it's something serious or important, and I take interest in it, I'd cheerfully do it. But other things, I just put it to the last minute priority.
As usual, there are a few projects towards the end of the semester. Projects were to be done by a group, not individual. For general chemistry, my friend wanted the project paper done some time before the deadline, but we all ended up procrastinating. Last week they had a meeting and I couldn't come, so at least I thought that I should be done with my part early so they can have it or something. But I ended up not start doing it until last Sunday. Or was it Monday? Anyhow, I told her on Tuesday that I'll be sending my part that night, but I wasn't done and it was all messy and lengthy. I kept on just fooling around until 8 pm or 9 pm and start tidying up my part. I ended up sending her a brief draft at midnight. Hahaha so bad. I'm so bad. And that's only for the presentation. My part for the report wasn't ready.
Yesterday, Wednesday, I didn't come to school at all. I had no class. I stayed at home. I was thinking of studying this and that, this and that, but nooo... I just decided to play around, watch TV, trying to sing or make a crappy cover of a song and mess around the audio and video editing programs. Mom left to go to some shop with the neighbor lady at 10 and I was alone at home doing nothing important. By the time the kids arrived home, I was still editing my crappy cover. I was supposed to be studying and making my part for the report ready. I only started after Maghrib. But it was okay, I guess. Today was the presentation and I think when I spoke, my voice cracked. Did I spoke too fast? Was my voice not loud enough? Did I do good? Questions, questions.
Other than that project, I had analytical project. I know I said on the previous babble post that I should be contacting the group on Saturday to remind them and finalize the report, but I was fooling around all day long. I didn't even do anything that I mentioned I'd do on the previous babble post. Oh man. I reminded them on Sunday. I think they were rushing to finish it on Monday. They sent me their parts so I could format the paper and write the conclusion at night. I know I received it, but I didn't want to do it at night. I wanted to sleep. I set up my alarm so I can wake up earlier than usual, but as usual, I ignored it and turned it off. I did the formatting and conclusion in a rush. Printed it after I took a bath. All that was after I did my morning chores. More or less in an hour. It turned out quite okay. Or so I hope. Also, on Sunday, I did a similar thing. I started writing for English progress check 2 after finishing my morning chores. In that one hour, more or less, time interval between finishing the chores and leaving the house to get to school.
My pace is nothing to be proud of. It is getting worse as time passes by. I should do something about it. I like it, but something has to be done. I should have some discipline. Mentally scolding myself for every time not having discipline. It won't be that strict, because I know I'll just ignore it if it is. Maybe because of too much pressure? But I'm sure if there are significant pressure from the outside, I can succumb to it and my pace won't be so loose. But... I don't like doing things when I'm told to. Well, most of it, because some things just had to be done as told. I like doing things out of my own will. I like taking my time.
Like... that time when I finally surrendered to my friend's encouragement to write. I told her that I'd write before a certain time. But I didn't. I didn't even started! I started MONTHS after. Also... like in year 9 art classes. I was interested in doing the work at the beginning. I did it with interest. But then, I lost the interest after a while. Even my funky collage thingie was not completely colored or drawn. I stopped. Also, the fan I made, it wasn't that good and not to forget the building I had to make. I was late in doing it. I kept on procrastinating. Extending the deadline and all only to end up with crappy white plan building made by plain poster paper and it won't stay still. I hid it in the wardrobe next to the class or work on it in the bathroom on the day the teacher was going to check and mark. I lost interest easily.
Okay then, I guess that's all. Hahaha it turned out quite lengthy, no? Oh well...
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| I like to read fanfiction as a way of procrastination, as an excuse not to do my work. |
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