It's been awhile. I've been meaning to write since the second day of Eid, but was too lazy. How long has it been since then? Two weeks, probably? Hmmm... I wanted to write about the first day of Eid, but... Well... Now that it's distant, it feels like it's no longer fun to write about, but me being me, maybe I'd ramble gibberishly and it'll end up as a paragraph. Who knows. Maybe it'll just be a mere sentence. So, because of that and also I watched some 48Family related videos, I was interested to babble about it. I think that was around a week ago at most and now it feels a little distant and the excitement went away, but thankfully I noted the points on my phone, so once I'm finished with this one, I'll try to follow the points. It'll be a lot though. ...or not.
So, now... This is silly and is most probably meaningless to anything that's going to happen in the future (not that I can predict the future), but lately I've been... Ummm... engrossed in someone. It's just a silly crush. I should be sure that it'll be nothing more, ever. I guess it's more like I'm interested in him. (Pfft... Yea, like all the others. Just interests.)
Oh gosh, I'll be dead because of embarrassment if he ever finds out about this blog. This post then can be digged up. Easily, if I'm lazy to post some more. Hardly, if I spam the blog with countless nonsense babbles as all of my babbles are labelled with Babble so it can appear on that button next to JBabble up there. Wait, what? I usually (meaning before because I made a new blog/site for it) spam with lyrics posts, but then again I said above if I spam the with countless nonsense babbles. Hmmm... I think I get it. Yeah.......
Anyway! Why am I going around in circles? Okay, maybe not circles... Ok, ok...
A few weeks back, I had a dream. Which involves him. Of course, I like dreams. I take them as entertaining, even the bad ones. But a nice dreamless sleep is good too. So... I liked the dream and dislike it at the same time. Lately, or since the beginning, I disliked all of my dreams of him. It was not much, maybe 3 or 4 at most. I tried to remember it for the sake of it being interesting to write about, but forgot most of it.
The first one I can remember one involved three letters. I remember writing some of it somewhere, but where I can't quite remember. I checked my facebook activity log and couldn't find it. "It was the three letters" or something along that line. Nope, couldn't find it on vk either. Anyhow, it was about the three letters. I think it started somewhere along the line of me not attending much of the japanese club activities that one day I decided to join for a change. Then, during the anime and manga meeting, he wrote to me on a piece of paper and asked if I'm enjoying myself. I don't remember how he passed that piece of paper to me or what exactly I replied after. That was the first letter.
After the meeting, I must've agreed on joining him and his friends on a hang out which then ended up with him dozing off on the couch somewhere and it was only the two of us then. I acted on impulse and... and... umm... How to say this... Okay, kissed him. It was just a touch of lips. Then, he woke up before I pulled away and saw what happened. I couldn't say anything and just ran away. I was afraid of what's going to happen from then onwards. Some time later, I got a letter from him. (It's modern day and yet he's sending letters. But then again it's a dream so it's not supposed to make sense. Or at least not much sense.) He wrote to reassure me that he and I will still be friends and all. That he's not going to dislike me or anything. Basically, a reassurance letter. Or a letter that made me feel a little better about what was going on. That was the second letter.
Since it's only dream, the third letter was a confession letter. Whenever I think about him (not a lot of time), I would say, "I wouldn't even dare to dream about it." But I dreamt about it. In real life, a confession from him to me is completely impossible. He's got nothing to confess to me. He knows nothing about me, and so do I, know nothing about him. We are not even friends. Or declared ourselves as friends, at least. It's more like kouhai-senpai, but... Sure he's a senpai since I'm only a first year, but I don't it's even close to that. Hmmm... Again, it's more like... A president and a club member. Yep, nothing more. Reality is harsh and everything is only in my head.
The other dream involved me as a stalker, sorta. It was a rather weird world, and yet still normal. So, it's basically, after school I rode a motorcycle (not the cool ones) to go home and saw him on the road. Then I followed him till he reached his house. Sure, I was curious, but that's still stalker-ish, right? Right, right? Ugh.. Anyway, after that I decided to pay him a visit. The visit was nothing important, we just sat there and talked. Talked, only. The visit took longer than I thought it would be and somehow, my dad was already outside waiting for me. He was supposed to be mad, but he wasn't. I was still afraid, nonetheless. I asked him if he has a sister and if we could do a little pretending. Like, I was visiting his sister so when I leave, I walk out with his sister then a few moments later he comes out to bid me. But then dad already saw me talking to him through the window and so the plan was futile and not worth to go through it. When I came out, I was surprised he wasn't mad. He seems a little like, encouraging me. But in real life, that will never happen. Duh, of course. Me stalking him to his house and pay him a visit is totally muri muri. I meant, him being not mad about me visiting a boy's house alone (well, even if his family is around). He'd forbid me and gave an outright rejection if I asked for his permission.
Those two are the dreams I could remember. There's something... Ummm.... About the first dream, I kinda wrote a story about it. Elaborated and something that will never ever happen in real life, of course, but then I had nothing to do so I just typed it on my E71. What was wrong with my mind? I think the beginning was okay, but then until it got a little cheesy and I stopped. I didn't stop because it was cheesy, but I think it was me had something to do, or too sleepy. Sleep is still something to do, so the latter part doesn't count. Anyway, I didn't resume on writing it and I guess it'll just be buried deep within my notes in my E71. The last part I wrote was... prolonging the story and all... Was too embarrassing. I won't even post it here on the Short Stories section. I won't. I won't. Never!
I'm kinda stalker-ish.... I found his instagram, twitter, ask.fm, facebook awhile back but didn't follow/add him... Actually, I was contemplating on following his twitter, but... Couldn't make my mind and just shrug it off. Also... I kinda... Umm... Asked him questions on ask.fm. A lot of questions and most of them are rather random, or at least a lot of them. Was glad that he replied to most of them. I hid under anonymity. Enjoyed it. Man, I'm creepy and sickening. I'm not crazy about him. It's just a temporary interest that he sparked on me. That should be all.
So, next term, I'm thinking on joining the club activities more often and clear such... silliness.
He's not interested in love-love, anyway. That I dag it up from his ask.fm. Someone seemed to have a crush on him and told him anonymously awhile ago. Cool, cool. He's such a ladies man. Okay, what? :/
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